"I don't know how periods work, but I know they scare me, so I invented this."
The former wild west shoot-out town of Wichita has spawned a doctor who is certain he can free millions of women from the hassle of their monthly periods. He has every intention of pushing his idea of a magic feminine glue-stick. You think we're kidding?
You may think we make this stuff up, but with the plethora of maniacal medical men extant, why would we have to?
So it comes to pass that Doctor Daniel Dopps, a chiropractor and businessman in Wichita, happens to be the freaky inventor. And he calls his feminine adhesive the Mensez - still in the development stage. Dopps told the media that the adhesive is a formula of natural oils and amino acids in a lipstick-type form, which can be applied to the vulva, to keep menstrual blood contained within the vagina,
Dopps says he has been working on his special project for years and that a number of manufacturers are interested, although he wouldn’t say who they might be. “I believe it’s a great option that women will see will improve their lives. The Mensez is a “mild adhesive,” he said. "It's like the glue on a sticky note."
"They'll see there is a better option than pads and plugs.”
The doctor, who operates one of three Dopps Chiropractic Clinics in Wichita, seems to be running a bit low of supporters. Doctor Ashley Robbins, a gynecologist at the Mid-Kansas Women’s Center, said Dopps is trying to come up with a solution to a problem that doesn't really exist.
“There’s no scientific literature that shows temporarily gluing a woman's labia closed would be safe.” Robbins said. “His descriptions of women's challenges are condescending and distasteful.”
Then there are Daniel Dopps' two brothers - Fred and Don - who are also chiropractors.
They both say their brother’s idea has been “an embarrassment.”
A feminine glue stick embarrasses us too, and we don't even know this twit. We'll just take this opportunity to apologize to the entire female population right now.