Doctors Dumb & Dumber
The Case of the Creepy Caped Clinician
You probably heard the one about the bar-hopping geniuses in Florida, drunken doctors all, festooned as cartoon characters, just out for a good time. One of these guys, and that would be Dr. Raymond Adamcik, age 54, impressed nearly everyone at the On Tap Café that night, by demonstrating how quickly he could fly from superhero to super idiot.
Clad in his skintight Captain America costume, Adamcik spied an attractive lady at the bar and knew just how to impress her. Yep, the ol’ stuff-a-burrito-down-your-crotch, ploy. After which he proceeded to grope the young woman between her legs, and insist that she reciprocate. Unfortunately the lady had a boyfriend, which meant Captain America went from upright to horizontal, followed by handcuffs and jail, with almost superhuman speed.
A momentary delay did occur however, as the police needed to determine just which of the five – count ’em five – Captain America doctors was the real spandex miscreant. And doesn’t this make for a fascinating visual. They promptly convened a superhero lineup outside, where the victim pointed out the doctor do-bad with no problem at all. He had that big lump in his tights, you see. So Adamcik was charged with battery, resisting arrest, possession of marijuana (the smaller lump in his tights) and attempted destruction of evidence.
Adamcik eventually came out of the incident with only a few wrinkles in his cape, pleading guilty to a single misdemeanor of drug possession. And in a surprisingly rare case of prescience by a medical employer, he was actually fired by the Melbourne, Florida Internal Medicine Group. Eventually his attorney successfully argued for expunging the criminal record, saying the doctor feared it might damage his employment opportunities. Now there’s a lawyer who just hasn’t been paying attention. A doobie-toting, burrito-for-a-pee pee, vagina-groper in blue tights?
Trust us: on the Bell Curve of daffy doc shenanigans, this fruit loop merits little more than a blip on a state medical board’s freaky-physician radar screen.
Pervert Physician Guilty in Voyeurism Case. OK to Still Undress People for Money? Of Course!
Doctor voyeurism: just what we ought to enable in our freakier lab coat loons, right?
On the Canadian island of Vancouver a family medicine specialist has confessed in court that, well, yeah, come to think of it, he really did hide his camera phone in the clinic’s bathroom. He sorta wanted to catch a view of his lady staff using the potty. What’s wrong with that?
Doctor Mark David Thiessen
Doctor Mark D. Thiessen was convicted on January 5 last year of “secretly recording nudity in a private place,” after he set up his cell phone to record the bathroom activities of the women he worked with, back in 2015. So he was sentenced to the whopping punishment of 12 months probation for his crime, which occurred at the Saanich Medical Clinic. Then he went back to work.
The British Columbia College of Surgeons, which is the Canadian equivalent to a state medical board in the U.S., decided it would be a wise move to allow this stethoscope scallywag to keep his medical license, with the jaw-dropping condition that the doctor have a babysitter in the room, whenever he examines a female patient with no clothes on.
Well, by God, that oughta teach him.
No word on whether his medical staff decided to stay with him.
Doctor Eike Kluge
Now, you’re gonna love what a so-called medical morals expert has to say. Doctor Eike Kluge, an ethics professor at the University of Victoria, told the Canadian media that, just because the doctor wanted to see his lady staff naked, that doesn’t mean that either he or medical authorities, should have to tell patients what he did. After all, he wasn’t trying to film naked patients. Why let the citizenry in on the fact that their doc happens to tilt 3 degrees on the pervert meter?
Wingnut Kluge says that British Columbia has a “doctor shortage” so they need to keep this guy around.
Yeah, that’s a brainy idea. We wonder if Kluge’s wife would want Thiessen as her frisky fissission.
Here’s yet another case of this creepy clinical cretinism: